It is 12: AM and I got a cup of coffee. I usually do this just to relieve that feeling in my stomach. I guess it reminds me of past lovers. I live alone and just walk in circles around my living room while it's brewing. My mother told me I am like my father, in how we pace around. Guess it's just something I do when I think about things.
I'm always thinking. Mostly of the past. On how I've messed up and didn't even realize it. I mess up a lot. With people, and myself mostly. I don't dwell on it, but subconsciously I feel the emotions of something that wants to stick around. This constant knot in my stomach, a familiar scent.
I am happy, I think. I am just used to searching for something to fill that void. I'm sad to say sometimes I don't give up that while I meet a cute girl. I accidentally break their hearts in a manner of not caring.
I'm really good at not caring about things. When the time comes for me to care, it's usually at a point of no return. Like trying to save a sinking ship, or wanting more of a soda that you've spilled.
I don't know why I'm writing this. Who cares what I have to say. Who cares about yesterday. My thoughts are my own and I don't think you'll want to partake.