I just don't really know what to do anymore, I just keep ruining all my friendships/relationships. I feel so alone and want to die most of the time. I really like this guy but he's 10 years older than me and he's so carefree and perfect which makes me hate myself because I will never be that confident and happy in life. I hate my body and every single thing about myself. Some days I can't even find the strength in myself to even take care of myself. I just really feel so sad and lonely and I don't know who I can go to anymore. I just really want to be happy.