i can’t stop my self for thinking…, sick of it..its like jungle mind…always lot of things going on..people said i am good in calculations and work at office…,but need rest. just want to be careless for a while…
i never wanna be a different but that’s the way i am..can’t help it.
for example,
from far which world believes a sea., but no buddy know rather its water or sand. for me i saw all possibilities even i don’t want to.,it just runs in my mind… i stop seen people because they think i am freak…its been 8 years i don’t have friend, no one to talk…people just don’t get me…like i walk in a street and saw a beggar.., before giving him a coin, i thought hundred things.., why he is like that.., what bring him here.., what want wrong with him.., he don’t like what he is doing.,he don’t have a choice.,may be he is happy.,
and worst of all this i can not cry my mom said i was last cry when i was 3 years old after that she never saw me crying…but i feel myself in really pain…wanna shout loud, wanna cry hard, wanna walk in rain.
i work two jobs to get myself busy..,after 16 hours work i should sleep like an animal but i can’t..,there’s few good things which makes me feel i am alive.., 1st two kids live next door a girl 6 years old and a boy 7 years old…, i use to saw them form my window when everyday they left for school…they are so beautiful….or a old home in down town its like more than 100 years old…no one live there…i use to go there, i always sit and saw that home for 30 minutes to 45 minutes sometime an hour…that’s beautiful….
oohh i have lot to say but i think that’s enough..,:)