Dear Ken,
You have no idea how happy you once made me. How much you could make me laugh.
For a while I even thought “Hey, here is one person who won’t tire you out. Not like the others, the ‘squad’ members who just left you in the dirt.”
It’s not that I’m being smothered, it’s that I can’t stand people in general.
It’s that you deserve better than me, and on top of that; I’m only in love with your personality, and your words of love. And what kills me is the pity I get for it. The “Oh, no one has ever loved you. You can do better. You just have to wait.” Why do people think I can do better than you? Why does living in another country make me analyze what would have been perfect if you lived here?
I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone like you again, and I will hate myself forever for giving this up. I’m not happy either way. I just don’t know what to do.
And if it wasn’t for my family, who will never look at me the same way anyways; I would slit my wrists instead of my shoulder. I would start fresh.