I feel so lost….I don’t know what to do or how to do it I try to keep her happy but all I do is hurt her instead and its killing me inside knowing I’m hurting her…..I can’t leave cuz she’s my heart n soul n I love her to death and would do anything for her but no matter how I try I always end up finding a new way to hurt her or an old way resurfaces…its like a vicious cycle n I’m to the point where I need to man’s a decision I either need to find a way to keep from hurting her permanently or at the very least bring it down to a minimum or I’m going to drive myself crazy and possibly end up doing something stupid….like tonight I was on the verge of swallowing a whole bottle of pills…the good kind not asprin…to solve the problem but I stopped cuz of a promise to never just up and leave her I made but at some point a promise won’t matter n that’s what I’m worried about…I love her with all that I am n I love her little girl too but the pain I cause her is driving me crazy…..