Posted by Anonymous on 2013/05/13 under Uncategorized I feel so lost….I don’t know what to do or how to do it I try to keep her happy but all I do is hurt her instead and its killing me inside knowing I’m hurting her…..I can’t leave cuz she’s my heart n soul n I love her to death and would do anything for her but no matter how I try I always end up finding a new way to hurt her or an old way resurfaces…its like a vicious cycle n I’m to the point where I need to man’s a decision I either need to find a way to keep from hurting her permanently or at the very least bring it down to a minimum or I’m going to drive myself crazy and possibly end up doing something stupid….like tonight I was on the verge of swallowing a whole bottle of pills…the good kind not asprin…to solve the problem but I stopped cuz of a promise to never just up and leave her I made but at some point a promise won’t matter n that’s what I’m worried about…I love her with all that I am n I love her little girl too but the pain I cause her is driving me crazy…..
I’m not sure how it is you keep hurting her but from past experiences of being hurt by the man I love all I wanted was to be enough to have him change.
If you truly care about her and her daughter the way you say you do, don’t be selfish by taking your life. Change can happen but only if you really want it.
You should open up about your struggle whether it be with her or someone you an confide in, or even a therapist.
Be vulnerable and express how you want to change and do right by her and ask her or whom ever to help you take the steps to do so.
Sometimes in life we know what we want to do but are unsure of how to start the process. She must care deeply about you because she seems forgiving of the past you two have (whatever that entails) so don’t keep this to yourself. If she’s the one you want to change for she’ll probably be the who to help make it reality.