I just can’t do this. I know, that one day, I”ll kill myself. You say that, and people instantly suspect some sort of melodramatic individual. I’m a rational man, at the end of a rational rope. But even today, I can’t end it…because I have obligations. But there will be a day when I wake up and there’s nothing planned….Where I owe no one anything. And then…
I’m so tired of never being good enough. Of looking like a monster. Of being a failure. People love me, I know. But it’s not the love I want or need. I would pray to God as a child that I had parents that someone would come along to love me…and he sent me friends….I suppose I should have been more specific….
But even then…none of them know me….
I just want someone to say that I’m worth it.
Sadly, the lack of that voiced opinion has swayed me against it’s truth as well.
I just can’t be worthless forever. I just can’t.