Relationships, career, love, rationality, feelings, equanimity.. tough things to blend with each other all at once, aren’t they? Each thing seems to be important enough in one’s life, though different things carry different weightage for different people.
Which one should I let go of in order to keep the other one safe? As in, when one aspect of your life is endangering another one, which one should you go for? Some parents may say – “student life, definitely career lies above the rest”. Some youngster smitten by the arrow of love, could not see anything to be more important than feelings and love, whatever the world says. Some big-shot who’s achieved most of it all, or some spiritual guru would claim equanimity to be the most reasonable and sensible of all choices. Well I, a confused young girl, having realised the importance of all of these things in their own certain ways by now, knows not how to strike a balance (which is after all the ultimate goal)! If I start giving all my energy and attention to studies and career, I become a social pariah, emotionally and socially challenged. If I try to be a good friend, I get hurt time and again by small, stupid things due to the sin of expectation that comes with any relation, in turn affecting my studies. And if I try to tend towards equanimity, I become numb, unfeeling and indifferent. Whatever I try to put my hands on, I pay a price of losing happiness in another sphere of my life. Not every person my age has these problems, there are people striking really good balance in their lives, having most of it all..being successful and happy. I have no intention to compare and grieve as such, I feel happy for those other people as their happiness adds to the happiness of the universal soul, it sends out good vibes, and also good examples! It gives me a brighter possibility to look forward to, to hope for. But in my case, I don’t know what to do!