I dont even know what to do with my life anymore.. I fell in love with a guy whos a total ass. He cheated on me, never really cared about my feelings, yet I still love him. I met him two years ago and I thought we would be together forever. I was wrong. I moves out of state and away from him, and my bestfriend. I really dont know what to say to him anymore but most of all I miss my bestfriend.. I’ve decided to give up in him. I dont know what else to do… I miss Maddy so much.. I feel li k,e I could die. I want to die. I need to die. It’s the only thing that will make it better.. I cry myself to sleep constantly.. I need a love life, I need friends but I cant find any of that here.. Also lately, my past has been back up in my thoughts… I was malested twice and almost raped once.. I keep having dreams of commuting suicide but I know it isn’t healthy.. I feel so alone.. Is there anyone left out there?..