Today i am gripped with unrelenting pain, the kinda pain to where its almost debilitating. i have been servery depressed for awhile now, and really am not sure what to do, some say seek medication other say seek therapy. To me these don’t seem like options, not because of pride or fear of changing my mindset i feel this is something i have to get through on my own.
about a few months ago i had a suicide attempt and to be quite honest it felt good to try, even though i have never been in such a dark place before(EVER). In any case it seems all i can do at the moment is run, and when i say run i mean drive as far away as possible leave life behind, leave my family, pretend like i don’t exist for anyone but myself. if i could i would fly but unfortunately my musical instruments are one of the few things that keep me going, something to look forward to even though i’m quite lazy about it.
Really all i wanted to do was write, and have someone listen to my stupid nonsense, its hard when you can’t talk about these things with your friends or family, they just couldn’t understand. And it seems the only people who do are the ones who are just as damaged as me. Anyway thank you for the time if you took the time to read this. I’m just as faceless as everyone else on this site, but still if you took the time i still appreciate it.