I am trapped. I am lost. I am holding my breath, because there is something lurking in the darkness of my mind. Medical school is eating all my time, my life, my soul. It becomes harder and harder to walk down the path, put one foot in front of the other. I am no one. I am nothing. I would rather not be. I’m losing the love of those important to me. I am losing my family. I am losing time. Time, that runs so fast. People do not understand. The work. They know, but they do not understand. The price you have to pay, to put up front. You think ‘oh I’ll have a good job’. But you’ve given so much for it, that it comes with that bittersweet taste on the side. A side dish. To remind you everything that you’ve lost. I’m losing myself, I’m losing my friends, my lover, I’m losing money. I’m losing sanity. I want to give up. Curl up in a ball, hit my head against a wall, let it flow outside of me. That darkness lurking inside of me.
I am tired, I am lost. I do not know where to go. Simply that soon I will not be able to go on. I’m tired. So tired. Give up, sometimes I just want to give up.