God,
Here is some really emotionally charged language that really triggers me into freezing up, paralyzing analysis, and terror;
C***
Nigger
Spic
Kike
Dike
Faggot
Retard
Idiot
Stupid Ass
Dingleberry
Fanoik
Stupid faggot (in eyes wide shut// the yale students)
freak, weirdo, creep
Pussy-whipped
Wimp
Jerk
Not-funny anymore – Gretchen
"I don't love you anymore". – Sona
Paraphrase; "don't talk about me and gretchen to anyone anymore (or basically I'll kick your ass, another paraphrasation)
Twit – Norma Bates
Effeminate – I have been called this I think? But I think in some peoples context it was complimentary, in others insultatory and derogative?
Pussy
Weak? – I don't know if anyone has called me weak but I don't see it as a bad thing anymore, but rather, an optimistic part of me that helps me connect with God Himself.
Small Penis – Kevin and Jelly, Sona and Sara
Don't show off? – Dad (said something like that when I was performing myself catching the ball like the pros do.) (Just being a frickin' kid basically!) (Gosh, I'm so angry all the time. I would like a reprieve from these overwhelming omemotions that control my every waking life!)
Addict – kind of is cool, like being called a satanist, but also kind of sucks now. I don't really like the title and I think it is derogative. I prefer sufferer with Opoid Use Disorder. Or should say I'm allergic. Addict is like lower class to some people. Up there with chink, faggot, nigger, pussy and d***.
Chink – never been called a chink but I don't understand why it is said and spelled the way it is. It sounds kind of cool as a sound. Like something striking against metal.
Rice Rocket – Dad talked about this one at one point. Also don't understand it. But if it hurts someones feelings, it shouldn't be said.
I will pause here for now, I think we made a good start in this portion of the program of EA. Please stay tuned until I have a gentle rest and a gentle break and get myself recalibrated, so forth.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer