Why am I writing this? It’s not like anyone will respond. Then again perhaps that’s what I want? Just someone to read my emotions and so I can let them all out. That is if anyone will actually end up reading this. It’s not like I’m going to let all every single one of my feelings out no no no that’s way too much. I will however tell how I hate myself. Ahh common in teenagers now a days apparently, which is really sad but then again it’s not like I hate myself for the way I look, no that doesn’t matter to me. I think everyone is beautiful on the outside no matter what. However it’s my personality that gets the best of me. I’m a pushover. And my lack of control of emotions don’t help. I get jealous very easily. I’m not talking about love relationships I mean I’m jealous whenever my friends talk and laugh with other people. Whenever they start talking about how much they love the other person or how much they enjoy talking to them I get jealous and feel as if I’m not good enough for them and that dont actually like me. I actually have that feeling a lot where I think that no one really likes me and they just feel sorry for me. I don’t talk much at school dice I’m shy an I don’t know how to have good communication skills and because of this my teachers think I’m depressed or some Shizz and they make me feel worse about myself. Because they worry about me and they make me feel as if i am depressed and never smile which is not true it’s just complicated but of course they wouldn’t understand. Tomorrow I’m going to sit in the hallway instead te lunch table where I normally sit. I want to see who cares for me. Who will actually come looking for me. I told my what I believe to be best friend that I was going to sit in the hallway and not the lunch table and I told her that I need time to think and sort out some emotions since its true. She responded with “okay.” Okay what? Okay I don’t really care your annoying I’m tired of you? Okay I understand? Okay whatever? Okay I’m confused are you all right? I don’t know what it means. I-I will see if she will come sit with me in the hallway to at least be there for me and keep me company. Then again I don’t want to keep causing her trouble. I let everyone down all the time. I’m not good at anything and I mean anything. I’m annoying worthless stupid and not important. I want to run away to a place where everyone is nice to me and they pay attention to me and there is equal respect and I will find out who I am. But I guess a place like that doesn’t exist now does it? Who cares about me? Who will be there tomorrow. I’m quite scared to find out. I hope she comes to sit with me. Thank you for taking your time reading this little outburst.