The thoughts are back… It's 12AM and my head won't stop. It hurts. Everything hurts. I'm back with the 13 year old girl crying in her bed while listening to her parents fight in the next room. I'm back with her racing heartbeats and waking up alarmed to the sound of beating and screaming. I'm back with her dark thoughts in her scary cold room. I'm back with her walking shakily to her parents' room, and trying to get her father to stop hitting her mother, just so she gets beat up instead. I'm back to all the questions she asked herself, I'm back to all of the confusion, to every time she tried to calm her raging father down when she was shaking uncontrollably. I'm back to her waking up everyday and wondering what their fight will be about today
I'm back to her broken form. I'm back to the day she was dragged across the apartment by her hair. I'm back to when she wished she was dead.
I'm back to my 13 year old self, when I'm 18, but then again, I never really left her.