I feel like I’m suffocating. I know that I shouldn’t be so focused on school, that I should live my life a little, but I’m so scared. I’m so scared of failure, of becoming someone I wouldn’t like, of doing things that would make me regret anything at all. I’m so scared of living that I am, literally, killing myself. How do I stop this? It’s like, everyone tells me that this is who I am. That this miserableness is natural to who I am. But I know its not. Others tell me to breathe, to forget myself and just do what I feel like doing. But I’m so scared. I’m overwhelmed. I have a wall that I can’t break down. I know that no one can break it down for me; that it’s my own wall that I’ve built from the inside out. I just – can’t do anything about it. Its killing me. I just want to be able to just wade. Why can’t I wade? I’m doing, doing, doing. It’s not even amazing. It’s not even great. God. God. I just feel so depressed. I’ve made my hole. I’m living in it.