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i’m not sure what happened

Finally. FINALLY. I haven’t written for so long, haven’t told anyone about my thoughts i feel like I’m going to go crazy or explode any second. I am f***ing creeped out and f***ing sad and depressed i don’t even know what’s wrong with me.
I don’t even f***ing know what I’m writing here.
Okay so my mom’s not going to ever cook on weekends anymore. Why? cause my dad won’t freaking give her ‘salary’? Seriously?! Is she that immature?! What the f***. I still need to eat. Yes, i’m old enough to cook for myself and s*** but you never taught me! Seriously. And my dad, he worked so hard for the family. What did he really do wrong to you?! Seriously. I’m sorry I’m just ranting but no one’s gonna read this anyway. So f*** this s***. I’m just mad. At my mom. And she does ‘volunteer work’. She goes to old peoples’ ‘shelter homes’. I can’t live with my mom.

I CAN’T F***ING LIVE ON LIKE THIS. SHE’S F***ING ABUSING ME I NEED HELP. I NEED HELP. SHE’S F***ING OMG. NO WONDER I HAVE PROBLEMS. SHE HAS MENTAL ISSUES. SHE LOCKED HERSELF IN HER ROOM YESTERDAY AND WOULDN’T COOK THE WHOLE DAY SO MY DAD AND I WENT OUT TO EAT. WHEN WE CAME BACK SHE WAS GONE. SHE CAME BACK LIKE 2 HOURS LATER, WHEN I ASKED HER WHERE SHE WENT, SHE SAID ‘I DIDN’T GO ANYPLACE MUCH’. WHAT THE S***. WHAT IS F***ING WRONG WITH MY MOM. SHE’S GOT SOME KIND OF MENTAL ISSUE AND I DON’T KNOW WHO TO TELL OR WHERE TO GET HELP FROM.
MY FRIENDS ARE ALL BUSY, NO TIME FOR ME.
counselors, i don’t know how to talk to them. I’m so sad right now I don’t know what to do. And the problem is, she doesn’t think she did anything wrong. At all. When my dad comes home, you know what she does? She tells me “ok i have to go hide now.” and she hides in her room and locks herself inside. Well not exactly, but she locks the door so even i can’t get in.

Oh anyways, on with her story that she goes to do charity work. Seriously. She visits old peoples’ homes but she doesn’t even do ANYTHING for her own parents, her my dad’s parents. She hates my dad’s mom. She says she’s evil. What the f***. Seriously. Oh and what’s super ironic is that. I hate this.
I can’t live on like this. We’re further than roommates. This is awful. i feel awful. I don’t know what to do i want help so bad.

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