I’ve been depressed for years. I’ve thought of suicide for years. And just realised why havnt I been thinking about life. I focus so much on death that I’ve forgotten to come up with reasons for why I want too live. I think I’ve lived a life lacking love, and care. And I’ll be honest in saying that’s the reason I think of suicide. I just want to know someone cares about me. It’s selfish but I feel so f***ing lonely sometimes I think what would death be any different. I never stop cooking for everyone and cleaning and working, to try and take myself out of the picture. and I don’t think this is healthy. I never tell anyone suppose this is the first time. Im trying my best to sort my depression out it’s just so hard to do sometime. Maybe the harder something is the more worthwhile?