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If you actually see this then I’ll freak out

I still have hope that I’ll see you again one day. I want to. I think about it too much sometimes and when reality hits me, it hits me like a brick to the face. I think about your face and your beautiful smile. Your laugh and how it makes everything feel ok. I think about how it would feel to see you again after all this time and just say “Hi”. I know I would have butterflies. I wouldn’t be able to stop smiling, like the derp that I am. I think about what it would feel like just to see you, to look at your face and see you looking at me.

-Sigh-

And then I remind myself not to go there cuz I know it’ll just get me down. I wish I knew how to let go, but its really hard. It’s hard when you don’t know how to stop loving someone. I love you Sarah Kay, I can’t stop. I’m sorry.

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