I wouldn’t say that I am suicidal however, I would say that if there were a car heading my way and I had just a few seconds to move out of the way, I’m not sure I would. ive had a lot on my mind recently and I feel as though I have no one to talk to so I thought id write about it instead. I don’t expect people to read it all, or understand what is going through my mind, but I just wanted to get it out into the open. it makes me feel better and it helps me to clear my head slightly.
Where to start, I met a boy, he seemed lovely at the time, cute, funny and hansom. What else does a girl look for in a boy? Anyway, everything was amazing, I couldn’t have felt any happier. I’m not going to say my exact age, but I will tell you I’m under 15, and so id never felt this way about a boy before, never thought of them to be my top priority, as you wouldnt at such a young age. continuing, things began to feel a little more serious, perhaps more than they should’ve for the amount of time we had been together. Just 3 weeks, and I felt as though I needed to do everything that would make him happy.
One day we were chilling, and watching a movie, when things got a little serious, he began to undress me, and I didn’t know what to do. It was a split second decision and I wanted to please him as I cared a lot about him and I didn’t want to disappoint him either. I let him go ahead.
It wasn’t till later, when I was lying on my bed I realised what I had actually done, I had really disappointed myself and I felt as though I had lost all the pride I had in myself and It was an awful feeling, knowing I had done something I could never erase with someone I knew i wasn’t going to be with for a very long period of time. nothing is going to last to long at such a young age.Thats when everything began to fall apart like the face of a cliff crumbling into the ocean. Literally. That’s how fast everything went from amazing to awful. And everyone found out what had happened with us and I felt like such a slut and I felt like I had lost all my dignity and self pride.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, to anyone around my age. Please don’t rush into things, wait until you find the perfect person don’t make the mistake I did.