Sigh… I’m not alone, but I’m not happy. I met someone that made me see just how much I deserve and yearn for more than what you ever gave me. You may not believe it but he’s really more a symptom than a cause. You shouldn’t blame him; I know you might anyway, especially if I tell you not to. The truth is that I’ve long been tired of our strained smiles and mere contentedness. I’ve slowly lost myself over the years, piece by piece. Instead, I learned to hold my tongue and be a proper lady. It was so subtle, I barely noticed how the joy had slipped away, and if I did, I dismissed it for growth and maturity.
I don’t actually deserve the man I love either. Not yet. And with you, I know I’ll never become that person either. I’m too stunted and constrained. What hurts is not this knowledge but the thought that by the time I change I know it will still be too late. After all, it’s already too late. The man I love is not beside me. He never will be again. I know it and yet I don’t want to stay here with your companionship. The safety and devotion of your vows – they’re not enough anymore. To stay would be to languish. It would be cruel. I know you’ll be happier without me. One day. And I’ll be alone. Maybe forever. Or, maybe not. But I’ll never be with him. Sigh… It was all so fleeting.
I have to break your heart. I’m sorry. It would be cruel to stay. You come home this weekend. We have to talk.