I wake up everyday get three kids ready for daycare whilst also preparing myself for school. I am a senior this year. I work everyday after school and get in up to 54-63 hours in every two weeks. I am a slave, a slave to this thing we call society. My life has and never will be mine, i’m so close to freedom, yet i feel as though i will be trapped in this situation forever. I want to give up, i want to lay in our apartment complex (that i am responsible for paying for) yard and sink into the earth.
I sit in school and stare at those perfect preppy girls with jealousy, because they always come to school rested, well presented, and stress free. I envy them to a point of loathing, because no matter how hard i try i know i will never have that freedom. I was born to live for other people, and i had accepted this by the age of 11 when my first niece was born and my sister left her in my care. I wish, hope, and dream that someday i can live alone in peace. I just want normality, i want to be that person that has friends, and can hangout, and let go of everything. But i never will be, and i’m not sure if i can’t or don’t want to be….