i’m not really sure where to start. sometimes at night i’ll just be looking at strange websites in old ’90s format and it’ll make me feel inhuman. i feel inhuman. i feel unreal, and it won’t go away. i have had enough of this “i have every single living mental disorder out there!” and everything is a pointless .jpg file. i saw the words ‘love and overcoming fear’ and i burst into tears.
i feel like i am going crazy. am i? because all i feel are static-y photos and old ads and plastic and gore. i feel like a computer code. that is what i FEEL. i see — what i see is myself, living, or maybe sleeping. i see myself in a mirror and think, “who is that?” i look at my arms and hands and they are not my arms and hands. they are unidentified. i probably sound insane, but i’m not doing and drugs. i promise. i’m just confused and imploding.