Its nice to be able to depend on someone for something at some point in your life, but when the spice in life is bland and special acts of affection become routines thats when you really messed up. To have that thought that you’ve found your soul-mate in the couple of months that you’ve been with him will probably be the biggest mistake you have ever made. I’m sure you can already assume that it was the biggest mistake I’ve made up until this point in my life. Oh and another thing is, having the highest expectation of your perfect other is a great thing, but, I promise you this. The moment he doesn’t meet those expectation is the moment your relationship dies. Truthfully those expectations are what you are looking for in your significant other. Now, don’t have me mistaken, the expectations that I’m referring to aren’t any bizarre fantasy ones. Little things like chocolate on valentines days, a text to reassure that things are going smoothly or even a really nice long hug. Truthfully a hug would’ve been enough to calm my nerves of any mishap in this roller-coaster of a relationship. Now your probably reading this and saying “you really needs a diary or someone to vent to”. Hell yes I do, but the thing is… expressing my feelings in person will only bring me to tears and run my brain cells in pulling all the memory files of when it was the perfect relationship. Apparently, it a “break” period for us, but, the thing is I don;t believe in breaks. To me, this is over and done with.
I can’t honestly say what I’m feeling or thinking (well I never really could’ve done that)but I can tell you that I don’t regret being in that relationship. What I do regret is having such high expectations of it and sharing my deepest feeling with someone who has no sympathy.
The phrase Love is blind, should be rearranged to “love can make you blind”.
I am taking this “break” and embracing it. Thank you for putting my walls back up, I finally feel safe.