I can blow this website up with a million synonymous posts of helpless romanticism and loneliness in a domesticated boring world but i never come any closer to satisfaction. A comment wont cure anything. I want the impossible. I want someone to look in my brain and say , yes – thats the one , and then run all the way down here to my front door to come and get me.I know that all i need is another person who isnt a shell. Whos conversations arent a scratch of the surface. I get it, nice caring and loving, typical traits anyone can manufacture at the blink of an eye. I could care less about those and someone high enough to easily settle for any random girl that carries them (all of them) can knock themselves out and have a jolly time. Im not interested in a guy who sees that in a person and wants them. Who wants to baby a dumb happy girl. thats not f***ing me. Im talking about a guy whos depth is leveled out with their everyday mind. They dont need to think hard or even apply any effort to have a “deep” conversation because their mind is already paved that way, like mine. I just want some rawness, and not smarts- intelligence. I could care less if you know 2+2, but do you know why people crawl for a religion? Do you see the patterns and predictability of everyday modern people who never stop to question why, they are just too damn ignorant to care? Thats what i want in a man, or guy or kid or whatever. Whoever can provide that is worth my time. Not whatever guy say, that girl looks nice caring loving and truthful. get it? That s*** is called surface value. its useless. Now- if there is a guy who reads this and goes, damn. I DO get it, and they have the balls and effort to surprise me, then i would feel … crazy. crazy in love. But so far not one single person has even come REMOTELY close to that criteria at all, and THAT is why im alone. f***.