I have been total jerk last year. I did nothing at all. Its like creazy how I find in the current situation so often. Everyday I wake up and think today I will make plans for my life and be successful some day. But till now its in vein. Everyday is same. Its just annoys that, I have been fail in all my aspects. I need to change. As I am writing this I am feeling like crying. I have not been a great friend, I chatted about friends. Not a good student, always made up through by manupulating system and cheating. I have not been good son, always lied to the parents. They have so much faith in me. They think whatever i am doing is good. I really need to get out of this situation. What can I do is the question? It just is paining so much that I need to get it out. I am getting so much dipressed. I always pretend to know everything. Which I never knew. I should be real. Be real. Be real. I need to be real. That way I wont be day dreaming.
I never did hard earned any thing. It just came to me. Other came and went by and on their way ahead of me. I am stuck. Need to get back in there. Hard work will only prevail in long run I guess. What do I do to be focused is the real question?
What I am thinking of myself!!! who am I ? am a guy who has a really good intensions about people. Never been too extreme anywhere. I can make people believe what they want to. it will be my positives all the time. Been looser my whole life. I did nothing till now. I am going to change it. I really need to change it. Wake up.
I have to focus. FOCUS on my career first. First I need to build up on my knowledge. Whatever I pretend to be whatever I assume to be. Whatever is real . I need to be real. What ever I would do be real. Build knowledge about it. Always thought that I will learn it better alone than in class. Been to lazy about everything. That interview was eye opener. That should have opened my eyes.
As friend said I need to set my bread and butter first and then build up my interests. I need to to do that. First I will start with planning for long term and there planning for each day as I went along.
I need to plan …