So I met this guy, he’s 17 & I’m 15, we became friends & one day he tried to kiss me . I’ve never been kissed before & I was scared. I trued messaging him but he just ignored me. The next day I saw him & he was tipsy . I was with some girlfriends & we all went to the park & he was trying to get me to kiss him, but I didn’t . We hung out for awhile after that spring break rolled around & I hung out with him & some other guys. On Tuesday we kissed when he walked me home . I liked him a lot but I didn’t feel anything when we kissed . I thinj because before he told me he liked a girl he was taking to prom. I was fine with it . I got into a fight with two of my friends because of him . He was my first kiss & the first person I made out with . I didn’t see him after I went back to school until Friday. Which was yesterday . I was walking to the convience store that was a few streets over . I was walking back & saw him . I waved & he didn’t say anything he just stared at me . So I kept walking & I had to go back to the store & I saw him & told him I saw a video of him & he just told me “so . I don’t care nigga ” he’s from south carolina & comes from a poor background & stuff. There was this band doing a free concert & we went & I saw him & his sister & I told his sister “your brothers being an ass !” & she told me “he didn’t tell you about his girlfriend?” My heart broke . I wasn’t sad I was pissed off . Throughout that whole night he would stare at me & when id wave he would turn away . My home boy kendrick wanted to kick his ass cause he kept looking at him wrong because I was with him . He came up & lightly punched me & I was like “I heard you got a girlfriend” he just smiled & nodded . He told me not to get mad & I just nodded . So my cousin & some girls were at the park . I went ther e & so did he . But he ran . He told me he had a gf, but he was fliritng with a girl in front of my face . He asked her the same exact questions like he asked me . He did the exact same things to her as he did to me . Now I was fine with it until I heard him say “you’re cute . Where you staying at ?” My heart shattered & I got up & walked away & called my friend & staryed crying. I didn’t want to cry over him but I did . I didn’t want to the my friend I wanted to go home & selfharm . I used to be a selfharmer but I never cut over a boy . I don’t know why I wanted to last night but I didn’t . So after that I started walking out of the park & they all followed . But they were going back to the concert . I looked over & Tim, the guy i liked, had his arm around the girl he was flirting with . Nobody saw me crying until my cousin heard me make a loud sob . He started raging & went off on tim . Tim was confused & my cousin went up to his friend & asked for his brass knuckles & kendrick saw me & they were going to fight him, but I didn’t want that . I hate when people resolve to fighting . So I just lied & said I was crying over my friend who died . I knew I shouldn’t of said that, but I didn’t want them to fight . After I got home I went straight to bed . Well I ate a hot pocket . I woke up & I got a message & tim asked why my cousin was mad . I told him I didn’t know & stuff . But today I’m not sad about it, I’m actually happy . I don’t know why but it feels good to be happy & not depressed over a boy .