A lot of times, It feels like it’s ingrained in us to believe that the most noble thing we can do as women is help a man along in his life’s journey. We’re taught that we should aspire to be muses, or mothers to successful sons, or mystical manic pixie dream girl girlfriends who arise out of nowhere and make an otherwise uninteresting man realize his goal in life. We’re supposed to desire a man that says “you complete me” or we’re supposed to want to change him completely, helping him in his journey. Like the saying “Behind every great man, there’s a great woman”. I think that a lot of women desire to be with broken, outwardly hostile men (jerks) because they believe it’s the most noble thing to do to change him. If they can find (or “fix”) the root of this man’s problems and he reveals his sensitive side, she’s succeeded as a woman. When a jerk reveals his sensitive side to her, she feels accomplished and special. Just my theory.