I moved to America in a place I’ve lived before and had the absolute worst time of my life. I have no legit friends and all I do during my free time is sit in my room drawing, writing, and listening to rock. My emotions are utterly deadened. My father’s job leaves him in charge of things such as suicides, DUI, shootings, etc. I’m doing my best to not sound like a melodramatic liar right now, seems impossible to me. At school people hardly acknowledge my existence and blow me off as a fool because I either freeze up and shake or ignore them when they try to talk to me. The only thing I have close to friends are people who choose to make fun of me and pester me when I make a mistake. I have really nowhere to go now. Counselors are more like pedophiles to me who never have any emotion in their cold voices that give you the feeling that you are talking to a robot more than a living person. Let me explain more, I used to live in South Korea with the best possible friends that I could ever have. Then I moved back to my old town unwillingly, and when my dad had to tell me and my older sister she broke into tears and I had to be a shoulder to cry on. At first my mind couldn’t take this in and I had no feelings for the time being, I still can’t. I spontaneously begin to cry and have mood swings when I think about the subject of my situation. Due to being more dead than alive I have seen things for how they are, and being a twelve year old with the mind of an adult surrounded my classmates with little more than a five-year-old’s intellect really pisses me off. If anyone actually cares about who I am they’d speak up about it. All I hear is silence from these fools. The “friends” I spoke of earlier are in reality quite shallow and care little of how I feel, or at least they’re dense enough to show a little empathy for a kid. I’d rather fall comatose than be here, sleeping and dreaming of my past life. Just so if you ARE reading this and you actually care , don’t worry about suicide in this case. I know that that would hurt my family and cutting my life short is stupid. It’s just that this is really, really hard to withstand the comments of others. They feel like bullets against my mind. I JUST WANT TO F***ING GO HOME.