I am in love with this boy that I cannot be in love with because, well, I am engaged. The whole thing is a mess, but let me just share because I need a place. The man I really love is not a favorite of my family. My family wants me to marry Caleb, a rich man who can support me for the rest of my life. But Eli, is the man that I really love. I am at the point in life where I have to do what is best for my family and not for me and that really hurts me. Telling Eli that I am engaged was the hardest thing I have ever done. And we just sort of kissed while crying and Eli said that if saw me later down the road, he would smile. It made me break inside. I never wanted to do this to Eli, really. But I have no choice. I am stuck with Caleb and it is all happening next week. I do not know how to deal with this and sometimes I just want to die.