When I looked in the mirror today, I saw a pale body with paler scars. I saw pink lines and scabs on my thighs. I saw skinny fingers and words on my legs. I saw “fear not” in ink and “ow” on my foot. I saw “f*** this” and blue veins. I saw random lines on my stomach and thin marks on my wrist. I saw my face. My tiny smile where my left side of my lip goes up. My two childhood scars above my mouth. My eyes though, that’s what I saw last. I saw blueish gray eyes with a little bit of a sparkle. Not a special sparkle though, this sparkle said “I’m lying..” That’s what I physically see.
Here’s what I mentally see..
I see cuts, everywhere. Crisscrosses all down my legs. I see blood dripping down and dropping to the floor. I see my skin stained with red, dark red. I see my knees shaking and my legs turned in. I see my bony hips covered in perfectly straight lines. I see my stomach shaded with scars and empty carved words. I see my arms next, they are full of pink lines. I see big and small cuts mixed in. I see my fingers tremble and my knuckles bleed. But lastly I see my face. I see my pale face full of.. Nothing. I see an empty slate full of empty features. I see dead eyes and quiet blinks.
So what I’m basically seeing is: Coward on my feet. Slut on my legs. Stupid on my hips. Worthless on my arms. Idiot on my hands. Fool on my fingers. Impulsive on my stomach. Moron on my chest. Liar on my face.