I was so pumped to go out tonight, I’d had a wonderful date last night, my best friend and I were going to get a little crazy tonight and we had an abundance of parties to attend. Not only did my friend cancel last minute, my hopeful plus 1 and midnight kiss refused to join in. While browsing the Facebook event pages of the parties I found that a lot of the guys I’ve secretly had crushes on were going with people I am friends with.
So it hits me. This unbearably heavy wave of depression and I can’t do anything but sit here on my bed and wish I’d stayed upstate where I didn’t know any of this and where solid plans had accumulated. Whats worst is that I don’t know why the heck I am so depressed anyways. But I am, really hardcore. Right now I just want to stay in but I know that will just make things worse. I thought writing this all out would help but now I hate myself even more.