God,
Please watch over my soul, spirit and body that we make it through the night abstinent and free from masturbatory dreams and behaviors.
Does God know how terrified I am of screwing it up again?
I am trying to make it through this. There is experiential proof that I can make it through tonight, without masturbating, no matter what.
God, take my hands and my eyes and make my heart re-cleaned in order that I might be blind enough to accept the will of God.
Help me submit to the weakest parts of my spirit so that there is revelation in the heart of God.
Help me, please help me get out of the way! Really get me out of the way God.
It is so hard because of all the unknowing I've done, but we have to be ready to take our next RA step. We have to be able to do this one little, teenie tiny, itsy bitsy step at a time. I am getting out of Gods way by the grace of God.
I am not-God. I am just a little monk with a hopelesss heart and too many cravings to be called holy. Please help me accept that I can be of service to this program without going into the zone of the unsane.
Silently Anonymous,
-The Archer