me: table for 2 please
friend: no we are 3 people, you are forgetting about my invisible friend Doug
me: *facepalms* table for 3 then
waitress: ok *sit us down* what can I get y'all to drink
friend: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh leme get a root beer
me: just give me a water