As I’m writing this, I’m waiting at my school’s gym, waiting for the bus to arrive. This bus would be taking my team and I to playoff/championship games for the summer league we’ve been participating in. I know everyone is pumped and motivated to win, but I’m not. I simply just don’t enjoy being on the team anymore. As a result, I start to play not up to my level. I just do not care. I wanted to quit before the season. Hell, I tried, but the coach made it difficult. I feel bad about feeling like this because I love my team and I know these girls work hard to where we are. Meanwhile, I “work hard” and just complain about it to anyone willing to listen. At the same time, I feel obligated to play. It’s my last year playing and I would feel like a quitter if I stopped. I can’t help imagine, though, how much less stressful my senior year would be without my sport. I already have hard classes I will be taking and different leadership roles in a few clubs. With my sport, it’s almost going to be impossible to do all this without going insane. There’s just something I can’t let go.