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You don’t have to read it all, I just wanted to get it out of my system

I feel like no one cares anymore and that I'm just being used whenever I make plans with my " best friend " she always cancels. the first time we were meant to be going to the cinema and she said she was busy and couldn't come so I said yeah that's fine. the exact same day we were meant to go she went with this other girl so I said "I thought you were busy?" and she said that this girls dad invited her so I was like whatever ok. then we were meant to go in town and she cancelled yet again. Then she went with the same girl as last time so I was like you know what whatever I don't care. I'm second best I don't care you're hurting me but its fine because you don't know. I've been asking her for a sleepover for the past 2 months and she kept saying she was busy and she couldn't have one. She had a sleepover last night and she's having one tonight with that same girl. I don't want to sound like one of those clingy jealous friends but she always calls me her " bestest best friend " she always says I'm like a sister to her but if I was then why won't she hang around with me? it just feels like she's ignoring me and doesn't want anything to do with me. I always have to text her first but whenever we talk all she ever says is " mh, nothing, k, oh and dw " it's stressing me out I send her paragraphs about how much she means to me and that I'm always here for her and I'll do anything to make her happy yet… all she says is I love you then that other girl gets involved and starts texting me like " YOU DONT UNDERSTAND YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE THAT GETS UPSET HER LITTLE COUSIN JUST DIED BET U DIDNT KNOW THAT HUH? YOU DONT EVER TEXT HER ASKING IF SHES OK SO PISS OFF! " I don't get it… I know im not the only one that gets upset, I know her cousin just died but I do ask her if she's ok. I text her every day ( not that she answers ) but the first thing I always say is " Hey, are you ok? " I don't understand anything anymore she never sticks up for me. I text her on snapchat, the past 9 days shes opened my messages but I've had no replies. I just feel like I'm the 2nd best and I'm only hear when the other girl isn't. I don't know what to do anymore it feels horrible. I feel depressed as it is and I have for 3 years know and she knows that but I feel like she doesn't care. We've fell out before and she carried on with her life making new friends and I felt so depressed after falling out with I thought it was my fault even though it wasn't. She didn't apologise till 6 months later. And I forgave her. I don't even know why I bother anymore… I really don't. I'm sorry for rambling on like that but I had to let it all out I doubt no one even read down this far… I understand if you think I'm an attention seeker I'm not looking for attention. I would only like some advice if not I was just letting it all out 🙁

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