I can't ever seem to allow people to know me because I fear they all are expecting me to be this perfect being. There are the few beauties out there who actually try to be my friend want to know who I really am, but I always push them away. I'm not sure why but I just cannot seem to let people in. I fear that when they see me for what I am they may be disappointed, that I won't be this great interesting person they seem to think I am. Because I cant completely understand my emotions I then completely shut down and I know that I probably hurt them by doing so, I want to feel comfortable enough to let them know me, I want to be courageous enough to open up to others no matter the outcome. But I feel I am incapable of ever doing so, so I stay alone in the comfort of loneliness because then all I have to worry about is myself. but when I drive someone away it does hurt and I do get lonely but I never can get the courage to fix my problems.