A few days ago I was working on a community project with my boyfriend (who I have been dating for about month, however we have had a strong bond for three years). Throughout the day, we had been sneaking in small kisses and subtle touches. At one point, though, we went to go get buckets of water to clean a certain area and were alone for a few precious minutes. When I was turned around to the sink, getting the water, he gently grabbed my hips, pulled me close to him, and started kissing the side of my neck from behind. It was amazing, at one point he had me tilt my head further so that he could kiss more freely and nibble at it some.
I really thought that I was going to explode from how good he was making me feel. I was completely lost in the moment. I’m pretty sure I may have also gotten aroused, which was a first for me. I just loved the feeling of him pressing up against me, with his hands around my hips, kissing and nibbling at my neck, as I did nothing but tilt back and let him do what he wanted.
And that’s how I realized I was demisexual, rather than asexual.
It also helped me see how he was attracted to me even when I don’t feel very attractive. My hair was in a frizzy ponytail, I had no makeup, I was wearing old jeans and a four year old summer camp t-shirt. But that was the most sensual moment we’ve had. I only wish it had lasted longer.
I love him so much, and I know that he loves me. Mind, body, and soul.