you’re my favorite month
but this year it just seem so bad for me
from losing my rabbit two days before my birthday
over an action that someone else made that
I can’t even control, to ending up having so many
overwhelming situations happen where I am constantly
manipulated and verbally abused in my own so called “HOME”
and now just when I thought things couldn’t get worst
for me and I told myself things will get better
someone starts to write messed up messages to me
anonymously through tumblr
I decide to maybe go out with my brother and his girlfriend
to see Dracula and it was an amazing movie and boom
I literally end up losing my wallet not understanding how
and instead of people telling me it’ll show up or its okay
these things happen I have everyone in my ear saying whats your
issue where is your head, and just when I didn’t think things could
be more intense my charger for my Iphone 5 broke
so here I am still holding on strong being positive
and within all of this chaos in my life
everyone is still trying to come to me with their problems
and at this rate I am overwhelmed with my life and
my health issues and my mental illnesses I worked my ass off to
be so positive and strong and I feel that everything is just exploding around
me and it just truly sucks
I strongly made it clear to alot of people who mainly come to me
for advice whether then even at least once check up on me that I am over
them and their issues because there is so much one can do for someone else
and honestly I have some friends a handful amount and
its not even physical friendships more like emotional and mental
because I don’t see any of em like that at all and
I just don’t really care to because honestly
I don’t feel anyone ever thinks of me as a human being but such as a
therapist and that’s where I draw the line
I’m human I battle so much in my life
and yet feel as if I have to take on everyone else’s battle
I could be freaking out and maybe make it aware of it
does anyone care no they’ll continue venting about the littlest
s*** that they could truly fix it baffles me with how
strong I am and how much I could be here for people even when my whole
world is crashing and not once do any of them think of me for s***
I don’t believe anyone truly cares or ever did
there’s always a opening being left between
the good and the ones who don’t really need the good
until it benefits them
I am drained utterly drained
and I am sick and tired of being such an amazing friend
and feeling bad if I neglect these so called “Friends”
anyways that’s my little vent session towards
October, I hope this months speeds up
and hopefully the process calms a little down..