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Posted by on 2022/06/23 under Love

wow. visiting this site again is insane bc it still has a huge problem with spam scams. anyway, ive been thinking about you recently, the way you left and how you went about it. i have to say, it was very s***ty. i cried and i weeped over you. i thought i loved you, i mean i told you i did, but i also told people matt smith was my cousin when i was younger. you decided to wait until you were a 5 hour train ride away from me to break up with me. over the phone, at midnight. we were good, we were so good J, and you ruined it bc you got scared. no, i don’t believe any of that bulls*** “i just lost feelings, there’s no reason and there’s nothing you could have done about it”. you got scared bc we were getting serious. we had so many talks of taking the next step. well i guess the next step was a step too far for you. if you didn’t want to take all you had to do was talk to me. never have i once made it difficult for you to talk to me. i always comforted you, and gave you advice if you asked. i was there for you whenever you needed me. and i needed you at this time. as you know my mum had just been scheduled for a cancer surgery, you broke up with me just before it. you didn’t know it was actually moved forward bc you didn’t stick around long enough to find that out. she’s now going through six f***ing weeks of chemo therapy but your ass didn’t know that, J. i trusted you, i let you do things to me that i had never done before, all bc you kept asking. for the record, i was ok with the groping, but i was not ready for you to grope me without a piece of fabric in between. but you ‘accidentally’ slid your had in and i just went along with it bc you wanted to do it. i shared my worries with you, and at first you consoled in me, but you eventually told me to shut up and stop worrying. i thought you loved me, but i guess we’re from two different worlds, you’re stuck up, entitled and the worst thing that ever happened to me. i’m telling you now if i could take back every second i ever spent with you, i would. i hate you, J. you ruined my perception on love and you ruined almost every first experience you have with a partner. and you’re inconsiderate, oh and btw, you suck at giving present. you never knew what i wanted, which meant you never listened to all the things i said i liked, even a simple irn bru which is one of my favourite drinks, but you didn’t know that, bc you didn’t listen. i know your birthday, you’re favourite colour (red) your pets names, your families names, your favourite games, your favourite shows, the things you liked and not only that, i was interested in every single little word that came out of your mouth. you only cared about kissing and grabbing me and then tossing me to the side bc you wanted to play video games. that one time you said “ok i’m done being your boyfriend for today i wanna play games”. that hurt. and i hate you for it. i hate you for everything you’ve done to me. and i hate you for making me like you. you were a lie.

it was all a lie.

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