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Posted by on 2020/05/28 under Love

I'm currently in a very wonderful long distance relationship. I get a lot of love and support and I get so much love. He makes me feel things I never though I would be able to feel. He looks at me the way Flynn Rider looks at Rapunzel. He tells me everyday that he loves me and how lucky he feels to have me and he could go on and on about all the things he loves about me. I love who I am when we're together, I love how we can be ourselves and vulnerable, but nothing is ever perfect is it… AND I remind myself of that. I tell myself that our little hiccups are nothing compared to what other couples go through. I never attack him or make him feel guilty and every once in a while he'll randomly apologize if he;s ever hurt me without him knowing and i tell him everything is okay that he hasnt but then internally i know there are times that i'm hurt. My issue is that while we're pretty good at messaging, every once in a while i wanna videochat and he either is already talking to a friend or he forgets i asked in advance and i either get left waiting around by my phone all day waiting for my message that says he's ready for me to call and never recieve it or when we do videochat it's not the two of us. It's like if we're on video chat and his friend calls he'll answer and talk to the both of us but if his friends on before me he'll give me a raincheck. I ask him to watch a movie with me and he'll say sorry already promised a friend i'd watch with them, and i get it, don't cancel on friends for me, i don't wanna strain any friendships, but like if his friend can join my videochat why can't i join their movie night? i let them join our movie night. i love my boyfriend to death but i'd like to feel like a priority sometimes. Not always but like you know, every once in a while i wish it felt like he meant it when he said i was his favorite person to talk to. I feel like i do a lot for our relationship, i do the traveling (15 hr flight when i lived overseas, 12hr drive when we lived in different states and now i'm planning on moving closer to him to be with him) and i don't know i feel under appreciated. I'm afraid that once i'm there i'm gonna have to restart my life in a new place 10 hrs away from home and i'm gonna be overly dependent on our interactions and i'm just gonna feel lonely because he recently moved closer to home so his friends are there and i wont have my own friends around to keep me company. I hate that i feel this way because i think he does a lot more than most boyfriends emotionally. like if i have a bad day he'll call but on a regular day i feel like calling me isn't even a thought that crosses his mind and it hurts. but i don't want it to hurt.

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