Posted by Anonymous on 2020/02/29 under Love My first heartbreak has yet to happen. It is not because, as some of you may think that I have had an incredible love life. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If a doctor were to be examen my love life, he would probably declare it DOA ( dead on arrival). However, that would also be inaccurate. To pronounce something dead, it needs to have lived. The length of time it spent in that state is irrelevant. A single breath is sufficient to declare something alive and the absence of one to say it is no longer with us. In the case of my love life, it more like it was never born, never existed. In 26 years of existence, not one kiss, zero kisses. It is not like no one has ever caught my eye. It is just that on the rare occasions it did happen, I never felt compelled to do anything. And the reverse is also true. Part of me hopes that someone somewhere has liked me. If they ever did, which is very unlikely, they choose to keep silent. It would be easy to blame my current situation on others, but if I am honest, it is my fault. The problem is, I can not be bothered. If a brave soul were to ask me to join for drinks on a Friday evening, I would politely decline. In part because I do not drink. In part because I would have no idea how to act. You see, I can never tell if someone is flirting with me or if they are acting polite. It feels like there was a grand master class on the art of the seductions that took place and that I missed. My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. I am a coward. Instead of taking the risk of being in a slightly awkward situation, I chose to stay in the comfort of my own home. My typical Friday plans include but are not limited to binging Netflix or reading a good book. In my defense, books make great bedfellows. They do not snore. They challenge me but never talk down to me. They are great at distracting and entertaining me. They always never ask for something in return, never ask questions, never ask me to reveal my deepest darkest secrets. I am selfish and self-centered, as is evidenced by the ridiculous text. The reason that my heart has not been broken is that I am not worthy of love. At least not yet, perhaps I will be one day. I long for the time when I will not feel so completely and utterly alone. I know I have to change, but as I am a master procrastinator, it will have to wait. If you have read this far, I would like to thank you. If you have any advice tips or tricks, please let me know. Offer support: