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Posted by on 2019/12/31 under Love

I few weeks ago, I had professional development. It was a topic I had already heard like two other times, so to me it was boring and repetitive. I decided to pass time by looking at old messages. I wasn’t talking to anyone so I sent a “Hi” message to guys who’s numbers where lost at the bottom of my message list. A few replied but I was not very intrigued.
I had a reply from one guy, and it has changed a few things, just a little bit. He asked who I was, he had gotten a new phone and didn’t have numbers saved. I explained how we had been messaging during summer time and how he mentioned one of his band kids being hit by a color guard rifle during a practice. That was the last thing we talked about before I flaked and canceled our date, and I just ghosted…
When he told me his name as I was messaging him that “Hi”, somehow it clicked and I asked for his last name. After he told me, it really clicked, and I told him we worked together in the same building(!!) I was so shocked and mortified and scared. It would be awkward to see him since we technically were coworkers.
He was surprised in a good way, and tried asking me out again. I agreed but was a little reluctant, I canceled on him the day of.
He messaged me still, and eventually I said yes when he invited me to breakfast one Sunday morning.
…we really hit it off, not much in common but a few things, and he was agreeable and talkative, very open and could hold a conversation.
We set up another date for the next day, Monday.
We went to see a lights show and he had picked me up and drove….it was nice.
We had a small make out session before he dropped me off and I liked it.
He had to go to Chicago for a work thing and is coming back on January 2nd…he messages me everyday and we talked on the phone yesterday night..I am not a very expressive person emotionally but I miss him and I’m excited to see him when he gets back in a few days.
At the same time I’m scared that things are going so well, I’ve never had a guy that respected me and treated me kindly like this, and actually communicated his intentions with me and wanted to hear mine as well… I feel like things are going to go bad at some point and that I don’t deserve this…but maybe I do. With all the bad luck I’ve had with love and relationships, maybe it is time that I have a happy beginning? I’m not sure what to think of this sometimes but I’m both nervous and excited to see what the future holds for me and him… His name is Chris and I have a feeling he’s going to become a big part of my life this coming new year. 🙂

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