Posted by Anonymous on 2018/08/30 under Love Its been 7 months… 7. i have been building and rebuilding myself for 7 months. I kept crumbling and having to start over completely. no matter how hard I try I still think ab you everyday. some day are harder than other but I have finally reached the point where when I think of you, its ok.. its ok to think ab you because I know that I cant help it and slowly it started to hurt less and less. Im finally doing good for myself, im back on my feet and doing good again. then… BAM, just like that your back. How? Why? I really dont know but im grateful yet im back to where I started, my eyes constantly water because i think of all the old times, i remember how bad it hurt. yet I still want you.. more than anything. im scared, id ont want it to happen again. it cant happen again. for some reason I cant not love you. I think of all the little things, how scared you would get when we watched scary movies, how you would serenade me in the car, when you told me that the song "yours" by russel d***erson was for me… it made you think of me, i remember helping you w your homework because you were falling asleep while doing it, I cant ever forget the way your arms felt when they were wraapped around me at night, ill never forget all your favorite orders from all our favorite restaurants, ill never forget your deep blue eyes that made me fall harder and harder everytime i looked at you. I cant help it, i cant get these memories out of my head. it took me 7 months to just stop crying, and now your back and i dont know how to handle it or what to do. im still so broken. do you ever get that feeling that if you get your heart shaddered one more time that you wont be able to pick up the pieces, because the pieces arent pieces anymore, they are dust, and all the dust will just blow away. theres nothing left but hurt, and somehow i would do it all over again just to experience the greatest love I have ever known. why do we love people when we knows its not good for us? why would i do it again for you, you dont even deserve that.
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I was just playing you for a piece. Get over it