hungry
I was hungry in the evening when I asked mom to cook something.My mom always shouts and that is normal to us.Abnormal is when she don't shouts so you can figure out how much tensed environment my home have.Anyway I wanted dinner and I went downstairs to find food and saw everyone just ate I [..more..]
suicide
According to my mom and sister my dad was a bad person but he was nice to me.mom and dad separated when I was 8 years old.i miss him everyday.my mom had an affair with an elderly man,father of 4 kids.My sister married one of his son thinking this marriage would end mom and that [..more..]
A Metaphor Of My Life.
Imagine being up there alone in dead space. Waiting. Hoping. Wishing, that someone or something will find you. Some days you're absolutely certain it's going to happen. One day soon you'd say, you'd even actually convince yourself for awhile. Other days, you know it's never going to happen so you make the most of it [..more..]
Life
Life
Why
I don't know why I am living. My whole life is a series of mistakes. I am with someone I don't know if I should be with. I make a fool of myself and am living for others happiness not my own. I want to change and discuss change but don't change. I look in [..more..]
Worried
Took a drug test Saturday morning for a new job. Got high on Sunday. Now I'm worried my piss was too diluted and I'll have to retake the test. For the test, I peed that morning, then drank a cup of black tea before leaving the house and then a whole bottle of water on [..more..]
I don’t know what’s wrong with me
I just don't really know what to do anymore, I just keep ruining all my friendships/relationships. I feel so alone and want to die most of the time. I really like this guy but he's 10 years older than me and he's so carefree and perfect which makes me hate myself because I will never [..more..]
Alone is better
I want to be alone, live alone because I do not want to hurt anyone. Why do I feel like that? Could it be that I know how much a human can hurt someone or because of my bad tempered? Whatever it is I dont want to hurt another human being? A stranger, a friend [..more..]
Alone is better
I want to be alone, live alone because I do not want to hurt anyone. Why do I feel like that? Could it be that I know how much a human can hurt someone or because of my bad tempered? Whatever it is I dont want to hurt another human being? A stranger, a friend [..more..]
An insecure girl
I've become quite a sad person lately. Going to school has got me scared for no reason and this is the first time I'm experiencing quite a reaction from myself. It may be because I've distanced myself from everyone? I no longer know. I sometimes feels the world is watching me but not in a [..more..]