Somewhere To Write

Posted by Anonymous on 2012/11/28 under Uncategorized

This is really weird for me.. I usually don’t tell people exactly what I’m feeling, let alone random people.. But something has been on my mind and I just need to vent. There’s this boy.. our families have been friends forever and over the summer I started developing feelings for him. We texted.. & everyday I started falling harder and harder. He has an amazing voice, and even though we weren’t officially together, he would sing that song Wanted by Hunter Hayes to me. he made me feel wanted. He has gorgeous blue eyes, sings, funny, and treats me like a princess. How could it get better? We hung out a couple times.. and I just remember being memorized by his bright blue eyes looking at me, holding my hand, and then eventually walking me home. I was in love with him, and we weren’t even going out. School came around, and I have 1st period with him, I remember being so excited. But one problem, I was embarrassed of him.. why? I have no idea. I had told all my friends about him, and a few met him, but they all said he was a little odd. Which, he kind of is, but I’m weird too so were perfect. 1st day of school.. and he waits for me after class.. I feel weird and so I small talk with him and then leave. my feelings are starting to change and I have no idea why, he’s perfect for me. Eventually, he soon stops waiting for me after class, and for some reason its bittersweet. I get my phone taken away, and so of course I cant text him. A week later I have my phone back and the first thing I do is text him because I’ve been thinking about him. He tells me he has a girlfriend. I’m heartbroken. Why was I so stupid? I had the best thing going for me and I let It go just because I cared what other people thought. so stupid. Life goes on and I start to get over him. I come into class one day and my teacher had a new seating chart. guess who I get stuck next to. Luckily, he’s funny, and so am I and things aren’t awkward.. just like old times, talking.. and me mesmerized by those bright blue eyes. Over these 6 weeks, his girlfriend breaks up with him, he tells my friend he likes me, next day, gets another girlfriend, and flirts with me every day. I feel… confused? I don’t know what he’s doing but he’s sure confusing the hell outta me. Every day he puts his knee on mine in class and I feel those butterflies in my tummy.. mesmerized by those eyes. I had been talking to my best friend and I finally worked up the courage to talk to him in class, I was going to tell him everything… be honest with him. I walk in… and guess what? New seating chart. Now I cant talk to him. My friend talked to him at lunch, (he’s still going out with this girl), and he said he cant say if he likes me because he has a girlfriend. pretty obvious right?.. Same day, last class of the day my other friend asked him the same question and he said he thinks of me as a sister.. low blow. I’m heart broken, confused. I don’t know what to think. He’s left me with pictures of us, a song, and a memory. I know I made a stupid decision, but I completely %100 regret it. I just want him back. I want all our laughs, walks, cute texts, everything… I just want it back. His phone is taken away and I so desperately just want to talk to him, but now I’m afraid he’ll think I’m annoying if I try.. he has a girlfriend so that sucks.. what should I do?

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