Posted by Anonymous on 2012/10/28 under Uncategorized I’m just so done trying. I’m done trying to become close to anyone ever again because every single time I do, they leave. There’s no point to it. I just want someone to hug me. I want someone to be there for me whenever I need someone to talk to. And not just anyone, someone I can trust and I can’t trust anyone right now. All I want is for someone to be there to listen to hug me and tell me that everything will be okay even if things don’t seem like they’re going to be okay any time soon I just want someone to re assure me. I’m so tired of being alone, but at the same time it’s so addicting. I honestly rather be alone than to be with family or friends. I just feel like I can do whatever I want without someone judging me or telling me how to do things. I just want to be somewhere I belong. A place where people wont’ take advantage of my feelings. I feel so alone and worthless. I hate who I’ve become. I’m a horrible person and I don’t deserve to live. Others deserve a chance to live life more than I do… I don’t even know who I am anymore or what I want to become in the next two years. I just don’t know what to do anymore and I wish I could say this to someone face to face, but there’s no one… There’s no one out there.
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I feel that way a good portion of the time as well, I don’t know what to say, it’s a s***ty feeling to know that people are manipulating you because of how well they can get away with it. My girlfriend (still current, although I wish not) somehow managed to push me away from literally every friend I had before she came into the picture, It was a messed up thing to do. Unfortunately now it’s as if I don’t have much of a life to return to. I feel trapped in a world of her design most of the time, and as much as I want out she has me so entangled that I doubt I ever will. Anyways yo, before I go on to long about that I just wanted to say. There’s someone out there that can relate, My life doesn’t feel like it truly belongs to me, which is why I also cherish alone time, and not having to please people. But i’m also constantly plagued with loneliness.