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Posted by on 2012/10/22 under Uncategorized

You always see in movies these love stories that are magical, and then you see the ones that aren’t so magical. I feel like I’m always stuck with the ‘not so magical’ stories… I start relationships thinking, ‘Wow, this is amazing. This guy is so special.’ Then I end up basically getting the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line. It isn’t necessarily THOSE words, but it might as well be. I dunno… I just feel like it really IS me. How is it that all of these people that I start talking to and really getting into just crush me? Sure, there have been the ones that I’m okay with not being with them, but this most recent one… I don’t want to lose. Him and I have this amazing connection. Plus, we started off as friends. We were actually pretty close, and then we took it to the next level. If he isn’t into being with me as my boyfriend I’d be okay, but I couldn’t lose him as a friend… I don’t know if he thinks it’ll be possible, and I know I should tell him, but I’m worried it’ll just end up being awkward for him. I just want, for once, to have a relationship that lasts. I never ‘look’ for a relationship. After a guy moves on I’m pretty good at letting it go, and moving on with other parts of my life. Then someone comes along, and yes, I do hope that it goes somewhere, but I never pressure it. As I sit here and think… I just wonder what I’m doing wrong? I have to be doing something wrong… Why does this happen to me. It’s not just with relationships that things just fall apart. Almost everything in my life is crumbling. Anything I bring into my life, or anything that comes into my life, I always mess up. Jobs, school, relationships, friends, even hobbies I suck at. I just want something, for once, to go right…

(I don’t even know if I did this right, but that’s my thought…. HELP ME!)

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