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Posted by on 2012/08/05 under Uncategorized

It is just so crazy to me. Alex died 4 days ago and literally I can’t go 15 minutes without thinking about him. I find myself wanting to cry, but I can’t. I feel the need to but nothing comes out; no noise or tears. It is odd because I did not cry when other people I knew, never even had a tear drop. But with Alex, it is different I can’t keep him out of my thoughts, I wish it would just stop, but they won’t. Alex was just a guy I met one day, he was a really nice guy. But when my mother told me he died, I was so shocked! He was a good guy, just ‘wrong place, wrong time’ type of thing. Who knew that going outside to smoke would have changed his life, and everyone elses,forever. Shot in the head. BOOM!gone.I feel sick to my stomach everytime I think about what happened to him.He was only 19, he did not get a chance to experience life, have a kid, or even own a home. His murder made the news, he was the 39th homicide in Stockton so far. I still am confused as to why he made such a huge impact on me. I feel that it’s because I am afraid something like that will happen to one of my family members. We don’t live in the same neighborhood, but the same city. And Stockton is getting worse & worse, although I live in a nice neighborhood, a bullet has no name.And if something can happpen to a good person like Alex, it can easily happen to someone that I know. I feel that each day will get better for me. R.I.P Alex M.

One thought on “Confused

  1. Bubble Girl says:

    Hey I get how ya feel trust me i do. I am so sorry that you had to go though that… you will be stronger trust me. I know your post is dated but still… its the thought of some one caring that counts.

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