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Posted by on 2012/07/07 under Uncategorized

im writing this because i need to get it off of my chest. i am absolutely in love with my girlfriend. she has been my best friend for a long time and she’s honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. i grew up with a very difficult family, i had a horrinle childhood. im not complaining that i got grounded a lot, or that i didnt get any allownece. im talking about real stuff. like stuff that still bothers me to this day. i have a lot of anger. i resent somany people, and i honestly blame everyone for the way i hurt. but when i met my girlfriend, it got to the point where she made me feel okay. for the first time in forever. now, let me tell you a little about her. she is a very good person. the simplest things make her happy. and i feel like such a bad person. so being with her is already such a huge miracle to me. but,i hurt her. i emotionally abuse her. i get so mean. i make her cry. i say things i know will hurt her. i dont call her names, and i would never touch her in a harmful way. but i know the things i do do, are bad enough. i hate the hurt i see in her eyes. i hate the hurt i hear in her voice. and what kills me the mose, is that if i could just stop being angry,i would. i would do whatever it takes to just be better. if she knew how bad it hurts me to be the way i am, it would hurt her even more. i want to be better for her. i just want her to know that i love her, and im trying so hard. and i promise that one day i’ll be okay again.

3 thoughts on “i hurt the girl i love.

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think I understand the way you are feeling but I am not sure. If not I guess I misunderstood.
    It is like the person is perfect they do so much for you and you cannot believe that after all you have done you found some willing to love you. But deep inside you feel like she should have left you along time ago. So when you hurt her it is your way of seeing how far you can push til she breaks and leaves. When she does not it hurts you even more because you feel like you don’t deserve her forgiveness. If that is how you feel well then well then if she is sticking around there must be something she sees in you right? So try to find what she sees.Become a better person for her because it sounds like you really like her and she likes you because if she did not she would have left.So in the end since you do not like who you are change and become someone you can be proud of. Hope that helps.
    Do not be so hardon yourself you are only human.

  2. Saile says:

    I dont believe you honestly love her. If you did you would break up with her giving her the chance to be happy with a person that can keep her happy. I ended up in the hospital 3 times from ages 4-15 beacuse my dad wouldnt stop hitting me. I hate it when i see relationships like yours and i want to comment because i want to HELP not judge. We all have problems some worse than others but if you have that much hate you shouldnt be in a relationship. I have friends that are beautiful but hate themselves because the boyfriend they once had treated them the same way you are treating your girl friend. I had a friend kill herself because she felt worthless based on how her boyfriend treated her. My heart still cries because no matter how much i told her she was beautiful and how much she changed my life she didnt believe it. You need friends and an enviornment were you can become a better person, not by talking about how terrible your life was but by helping others in greater need that you and seeing how you have been blessed a little more than they have. Sometimes its not about us but about how we can make a difference to others in a good way. You need to work on your love and hate and not take it out on a girl that loves you. If you keep this up you will not only hurt yourself and feel guilty, you will ruin ANOTHER PERSON’S LIFE that all they want is to make HAPPY memories and share their love with you…you the person that doesnt deserve it but are lucky to have it. THINK ABOUT THAT NEXT TIME YOU DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HER CRY…..

  3. Anonymous says:

    哈哈,你个大傻瓜

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