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Posted by on 2011/07/26 under Uncategorized

When you give everything you’ve got to someone, it’s bound to end badly. But we’re told, preached to and convinced by everything around us, that giving of ourselves is the right thing to do, when it feels right, because the other person will give as much of themselves to you. Not so. I’m sitting here, proof to the contrary. Crying. Not knowing why, but having the sneaky suspicion that an arrogant inner voice of my own making is saying ‘I told you so. I told you not to go down a path with someone clearly better than you.’ Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t some sort of pity party or invitation to look deeper than what Is seen. Its just reality. So, in a society and culture where you only get one shot at this- no more, I’m pondering a life spent in solitude, isolated. I’m writing this because for the past half hour i’ve been talking to God, through my tears, ( and no not in a hallucinogenic way). but I came to realise, what a first world problem i’m having. Right now, Millions of people in the horn of africa are without food and water. Things I took for granted. When did food and water become a priviledge and not a right? So I thought to myself, what right do I have to demand God’s attention, when there are so many more deserving of it. And So I came here, hoping to get my thoughts out of my head and tears out of my eyes. Who knew that the ability to form tears is also a priviledge. A colleague of mine told me a disturbing story of a 3 year old baby girl, her patient, so severely dehydrated, she could not form tears to cry to tell her mother she was hungry.

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